Amanda Lewis

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Archive for the month “January, 2012”

Writing in the Ether: determination

my little girl

I have decided to make Mondays all about writing… A subject some of you might not be interested in, but let’s face it; I am.

Monday is the day a week begins (obviously) and I feel better making this blog a vehicle for my goals. In that vein I wish to make each Monday a fresh start, it doesn’t matter how much (or how little) work I got done last week, it only matters that this week I have a clean slate. On Monday I can forgive myself for all the mistakes I’ve made and focus in on what I can do.

This week is chapter 1. Easily the hardest chapter in any book, because it is where you capture the audience’s attention and bring them into your world, be it fiction, biography, how-to, whatever. Nevermind how apt it is that I am beginning chapter 1 this Monday; the first ‘Writing Monday’ on my blog.

Now, as to the title.

I know that with these first blog posts I am only writing for my friends and family, but since everyone knows the old adage, “if it’s on the internet, it’s there forever” I know hope that my audience will grow and some people may go through the backlog of these posts looking for other beads of wisdom (haha I laugh at myself for writing that: but sue me; I am and always will be an optimist).

As one can see, I have doubt. I think all new writers (anybody beginning a new career really) have doubts; will I be successful? can I make a living at this? how will it change me? et all… But I think the trick is to keep your head up and ignore (for the most part) the doubtful voice in your head that whispers words like “I can’t” or “I don’t”.

I’ll impart a story that illustrates (at least for me) determination.

 My mom, (my daughter) Llyra and me all went to the mall this past autumn (November) for some semi-early christmas shopping. And Llyra got all upset as we were driving, crying hard and we didn’t know what was wrong until we stopped in the parking lot & she impromptu vomited all down her front & inside her shirt. It was a lot and it smelled awful. So I carried her (30 lbs & 2 years old) sausage-style (back to floor, chest to ceiling) into the mall food court where the bathroom was (which is not a short walk) & halfway there she got so heavy that I wanted to stop to just breathe and give my arms a rest (all her weight was on my forearms). But I didn’t. I just kept saying to myself, “One more step, just one more step. Only a little father,” because I had to get my poor little girl to that bathroom as fast as possible. All the while she stared up at me, quiet, trusting that Mommy would take care of it.
 
I know that I’ll never forget that incident, because it showed me that I have strength and determination. Willpower enough to handle whatever happens with calm dignity and swift action. (I pity anyone who gets in the way of a parent trying to take care of their child.)
 
A lot of my life parallels, my daughter shows me my own capabilities all the time and those capabilities are what I need to succeed, with her and with what I’ve chosen to do with my life.
 
So, is there anyone who’s helped you on your path? Or shown you something about yourself that you didn’t know before? Tell me your story of determination.
So leave me a comment, I’d love to hear from you.
 
Happy Magical Monday 🙂
 

On Writing and My Life (my thoughts)

If you read the image then you might have an idea as to what this post is about. On the other hand I’m being presumptuous… oh well.

I’ve been reading Kristen Lamb’s Blog for a while so I decided to get one of her recomended reads “On Writing” by Stephen King. An amazingly candid book that alternately makes me laugh out loud and stop to think about my own life. So, in that vein, I’ve decided to make this very first post all about what made me want to be an author.

In truth, the writing bug hit me in my teens (when my writing was anything but shining) soon after I actually derived pleasure from devouring a ‘required reading’ school book; “Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle-Stop Cafe” by Fannie Flagg (I think). We had to read the book and then watch the movie and compare them (the movie of which won an Oscar). Needless to say; I hated  (nope) despised (*sigh*). Disliked (there we go) the movie for it’s total lack of depth. The book however, carried out an amazing roller-coaster ride I haven’t forgotten 10 years (EEEP! am I that old?) later.

So I ditched the idea of reading a book first and then watching the movie because that first experience ruined it for me. So instead of caving when the first Harry Potter movie came out, I waited (ummm yep something like) 10 years for the movies to be completely finished before I even picked up one book. I like being amazed. Movies are a quick fix of amazement (the rather large collection sitting in our living room can attest to that). We all have our favorites. My 2-year-old loves anything cartoon (but prefers cgi to trad. cell amimation any day), my husband loves roaring action (fun stuff), mind-numbing comedies (gag me) and other totally guy stuff, and I prefer movies with a point or a meaningful ending.

But I’m getting off topic (sortof).

The movies are really a large part of why I got back into writing. It was not something I stuck with in the 10-year interim that was the shiftless, lost years of my life. The time when the majority of my biggest mistakes were committed and my greatest memories were realized.

The worst of my mistakes was listening to what everyone else wanted for me so much so that I convinced myself it’s what I wanted too. But in the end I failed everything I tried to force myself into. The things I’ve been really happy and successful with are the things I’ve chosen for myself.

🙂 Call me sadistic but I’m really quite happy with the looks I’m getting now when I tell people that I’m writing a book. Too many people know “the look”; the smile leaves their eyes, the mouth slowly follows suit, a small, “oh” slips softly past before they can censor it and they end up almost sneering at you before they quickly paste a big (fake this time) smile on and politely say “well that’s nice” or “what are you writing?”. But you can tell that they don’t really care, not because they’re mean, but because they’ve already decided that you’re akin to the rock with the crawly things underneath; interesting but totally uncharted territory.

Even with the looks and the husband eye rolling and my mother-in-law clapping her hand over my mouth trying to stifle all the writer talk, it’s still better than working a dead-end job that wanted to be priority #1 and realizing that if I placed it in that spot I’d never have left. It’s frightening to picture yourself 20 or 30 years in the future never having acomplished anything with your life. And a perfectly logical (albiet childish I know) response to run screaming in the opposite direction.

Thus the kick-start to my current situation in a nutshell. I am a wife, a mother and a writer (in the order of appearance :).) and happy for it.

I’d love to hear about anybody’s ‘kick-start’ or epiphany.

Happy friday. TGIF

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